I was to know happiness, peace, and usefulness, in a way of life that is incredibly more wonderful as time passes. Yes, there is a long period of reconstruction ahead. You should be described to him as one of a fellowship who, as part of their own recovery, try to help others and who will be glad to talk to him if he cares to see you. You can even train this bot to write the way you do. We have to live it. They had said that though I did raise a defense, it would one day give way before some trivial reason for having a drink. Part 2: Chris Raymer, AA Big Book, CA speaker, talk about carrying the message to the addict that still suffers Hear renowned addiction speaker, Mark Houston from Texas, a recovered alcoholic/addict, speak on 12 step spirituality living in the spirit. Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self- delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate. Sweet relationships are dead. I was at one time assistant manager of a corporation department employing sixty-six hundred men. We know you will not want to miss it. He is the Father, and we are His children. No-not now. If he is a real alcoholic and very far advanced, there is scant chance of success. For if an alcoholic failed to perfect and enlarge his spiritual life through work and self-sacrifice for others, he could not survive the certain trials and low spots ahead. The bill collectors, the sheriffs, the angry taxi drivers, the policemen, the bums, the pals, and even the ladies they sometimes brought home-our husbands thought we were so inhospitable. Instead, the problem has been removed. If ever there was a successful business man, it is Fred. You may need to encourage him to play once in a while. Sometimes there are cases where alcoholism is complicated by other disorders. Better men than we are using it constantly. His drinking may be constant or it may be heavy only on certain occasions. On that basis we are almost always in collision with something or somebody, even though our motives are good. That includes bars, nightclubs, dances, receptions, weddings, even plain ordinary whoopee parties. Alcohol is so sexually stimulating to some men that they have over-indulged. What usually happens? Is he worth salvaging? Keep it always in sight that we are dealing with that most terrible human emotion-jealousy. We think few, to whom this book will appeal, can stay dry anything like a year. Therefore, we started upon a personal inventory. The faith and sincerity of both you and your husband will be put to the test. He may take small interest in the children and may show irritation when reproved for his delinquencies. The feeling that the drink problem has disappeared will often come strongly. Four days before he had hanged himself in his woodshed. The First 164 pages of The Big Book with lined pages opposite text for note taking. Some of them may sink and perhaps never get up, but if our experience is a criterion, more than half of those approached will become fellows of Alcoholics Anonymous. The two friends spoke of their spiritual experience and told him about the course of action they carried out. The local banker watched me whirl fat checks in and out of his till with amused skepticism. We wouldnt treat sick people that way. There were flights from city to country and back, as my wife and I sought escape. Both saw that they must keep spiritually active. We know that while the alcoholic keeps away from drink, as he may do for months or years, he reacts much like other men. Probably there are still some misgivings. Simply, but smilingly, he said, Ive got religion.. His comment was, Very interesting. Had this not been so, many of us would have no homes today, would perhaps be dead. I had had some success at speculation, so we had a little money, but we once worked on a farm for a month to avoid drawing on our small capital. So, you see, there were three alcoholics in that town, who now felt they had to give to others what they had found, or be sunk. But you should not deprive your family or creditors of money they should have. Several of our crowd, men of thirty or less, had been drinking only a few years, but they found themselves as helpless as those who had been drinking twenty years. The number of pages changes depending on the number of words, the font and the font size. About half our original fellowship were of exactly that type. Now these are commonplace observations on drinkers which we hear all the time. Try not to condemn your alcoholic husband no matter what he says or does. These are the realities for us. Then, in days, weeks, or months, a fresh outburst. Suddenly the thought crossed my mind that if I were to put an ounce of whiskey in my milk it couldnt hurt me on a full stomach. We never, never try to arrange a mans life so as to shield him from temptation. If you are as seriously alcoholic as we were, we believe there is no middle-of-the-road solution. Our experience shows that this is not necessarily so. Then came the night when the physical and mental torture was so hellish I feared I would burst through my window, sash and all. Particularly was it imperative to work with others as he had worked with me. If you do stay, let him steer the conversation in any direction he likes. But we must try to repair the damage immediately lest we pay the penalty by a spree. The 164 and More web site. Make him feel absolutely free to come and go as he likes. He had much knowledge about himself as an alcoholic. If we have carefully followed directions, we have begun to sense the flow of His Spirit into us. Life will mean something at last. Dont start to withdraw again just because your friends drink liquor. Do not hesitate to take your health problems to such persons. These tiny bodies are governed by precise laws, and these laws hold true throughout the material world. Referring to our list again. * This refers to Bills first visit with Dr. Bob. With all the earnestness at our command, we beg of you to be fearless and thorough from the very start. But what about the real alcoholic? Science tells us so. Have we skimped on the cement put into the foundation? We find that most of this embarrassment is unnecessary. He should concentrate on his own spiritual demonstration. And who could comprehend a Supreme Being anyhow? This may lead to lonely evenings for you. We have no right to save our own skin at another persons expense. We could not wish them away any more than alcohol. She wanted to know if her husbands company insurance was still in force. The more hopeless he feels, the better. I could laugh at the gin mills. We think of their needs and work for them. CAPITULATE: To surrender unconditionally or on stipulated terms. Big Book Study Edition (Softcover) This Big Book option is really great! Our own recovery proves that! All Rights Reserved. Golf permitted drinking every day and every night. Top 6. Just be careful not to disagree in a resentful or critical spirit. We subjected each relation to this test- was it selfish or not? A word about sex relations. (1939) The authorities were much concerned. This world of ours has made more material progress in the last century than in all the millenniums which went before. While I lay in the hospital the thought came that there were thousands of hopeless alcoholics who might be glad to have what had been so freely given me. We cannot answer the riddle. If we do, we destroy our chance of being helpful. In some circumstances we have gone out deliberately to get drunk, feeling ourselves justified by nervousness, anger, worry, depression, jealousy or the like. So we shall describe some of the mental states that precede a relapse into drinking, for obviously this is the crux of the problem. Few people really are, for that means blind faith in the strange proposition that this universe originated in a cipher and aimlessly rushes nowhere. We'll be down.". Of course he couldnt drink, but why not sit hopefully at a table, a bottle of ginger ale before him? We think that such a view is self-centered and in direct conflict with the new way of living. There is comfort in knowing you arent alone, that what youre feeling isnt unusual, and that there is a solution. Sometimes it is to the best interest of all concerned that a couple remain apart. Besides a seeming inability to accept much on faith, we often found ourselves handicapped by obstinacy, sensitiveness, and unreasoning prejudice. Therefore, you probably need fresh interests and a great cause to live for as much as your husband. The family is mystified. However, following best practices, the sweet spot for a 60,000-word book is about 200-220 pages. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. We went to live with my wifes parents. One day my secretary came in saying that Mr. B- insisted on speaking with me. No one is too discredited or has sunk too low to be welcomed cordially-if he means business. Without that, nothing could have happened. You may be unable to do so, no matter how hard you try. She sees she was wrong to make a burning issue out of such a matter when his more serious ailments were being rapidly cured. Though there may be justifiable exceptions, and though we wish to lay down no rule of any sort, we have often found this the best course to take. I knew from that moment that I had an alcoholic mind. When many hundreds of people are able to say that the consciousness of the Presence of God is today the most important fact of their lives, they present a powerful reason why one should have faith. I rightly imagined that they would some day have a great rise. Then, like a thunderbolt, a great thought came. Yet we had been seeing another kind of flight, a spiritual liberation from this world, people who rose above their problems. Rightly and naturally, we think well before we choose the person or persons with whom to take this intimate and confidential step. Yet we found it impossible. We have not even sworn off. Our behavior is as absurd and incomprehensible with respect to the first drink as that of an individual with a passion, say, for jay-walking. Thus we grow. It worked! We doubt if, in this respect, alcoholics are fundamentally much worse than other people. We have been unselfish and self- sacrificing. One day I went to Washington to present some accounting evidence to a government bureau. I saw that my friend was much more than inwardly reorganized. It thickened, ever becoming blacker. Understand he was once a well-known lawyer in town, but just now weve got him strapped down tight., Here was a prospect all right but, by the description, none too promising. Our sound reasoning failed to hold us in check. The first 164 pages in word .doc format. And we, who have imposed on the best of employers, can scarcely blame them if they have been short with us. She went to court and got an order for his arrest. We have three little mottoes which are apropos. Once confused and baffled by the seeming futility of existence, they show the underlying reasons why they were making heavy going of life. After all, your family is reunited, alcohol is no longer a problem and you and your husband are working together toward an undreamed-of future. The chances are he would. Upon hearing this, our friend was somewhat relieved, for he reflected that, after all, he was a good church member. Inevitably your lives will be fuller for doing so. Since we can't read all four chapters tonight, 10 pages on powerlessness are selected from The Doctors Opinion, Bills Story, More About Alcoholism, and There is a Solution. This is a condition which, in ordinary life, would produce untold grief; there might be scandalous gossip, laughter at the expense of other people, and a tendency to take advantage of intimate information. Our homes have been battle-grounds many an evening. There had been no more power in him than there was in me at the minute; and this was none at all. The head of the house ought to remember that he is mainly to blame for what befell his home. He becomes, on the next occasion, still more demanding or gracious, as the case may be. We looked askance at many individuals who claimed to be godly. He thought all alcoholics should constantly have chocolate available for its quick energy value at times of fatigue. A community thirty miles away has fifteen fellows of Alcoholics Anonymous. The beginning of the Big Book has not been changed since 1939, but exactly how many pages does that consist of? But he is yet a long way from making good to the wife or parents whom for years he has so shockingly treated. You can easily see why. To his consternation, he found himself drunk half a dozen times in rapid succession. They cannot seem to forgive and forget. Scoffers could scoff and be damned. There is company insurance. Much moved, I wandered outside. Much has already been said about receiving strength, inspiration, and direction from Him who has all knowledge and power. In this tape Johnny H. shares his experience with the recovery process laid out in the 12 steps. Of course that isnt so, and such people often may impose on you. The text of the 1st 164 pages of Alcoholics Anonymous. 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