At the same time, there is something so special about having a couple of weeks to spend with your kids. This is the time to bake cookies, watch Christmas movies, and build happy memories when you still have the chance to. My mom, looking at the baby: oh my gosh! Have you ever been shopping without your kid and someone's child in the store starts whining to their mother and you breathe a sigh of relief because that could have been you? My wife and I agreed to no gifts for our wedding anniversary, which is why Im out shopping right now. Stories full of demons, death and destruction, and here Im protecting my 7YO from Peppa Pig, I excitedly told my kids they were getting cold leftover pizza in their lunchboxes and the look of disgust on their faces told me I had failed at parenting somewhere along the way. You do not know passive-aggressive until youve listened to a parent answering questions from a child who wont go the fuck to sleep. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. I must be some type of ninja. You never thought you'd want to fight a 5yo, but here we are. every time we pass another car on the road. Sorry I didnt make mashed potatoes. Janene #1 LOL that is every parent of a little kid right now Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! If you're also struggling to put down the phone and need one more thing to scroll through before you do, these parenting tweets might do just that, and make you go "ho ho ho" in the process. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. Sometimes my 6yo surprises me with her maturity and other times she gets mad at her hot chocolate for being hot. People will tell you that childbirth is the most painful thing you can experience but after watching my toddler try to pick up peas with a fork I'm not so sure. The WP Minute - WordPress news. When do we learn how to breathe underwater? My kid, overestimating his swimming lessons. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Points for creativity to my 7yo who got caught sneaking cookies and tried to convince me she was sleepwalking, at 3pm. My son would not stop talking on the way home last night. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. My 5yo asked me if Susanna is a country. The idea of them, especially when advertised on TV, is great: I'm into the promise of less sulking, more action, and a relatively positive attitude. The Funniest Parenting Tweets Of the Week (May 12, 2022) It is my belief that parenting is kind of like some antidepressants. Me: Its such a great feeling to be so loved by my family. My 2yo made it through a 2 hour drive, a 2 hour wait at the airport where he read a book quietly to himself, an hour flight where he happily watched Finding Nemo on silent, a bus ride where he laughed the whole time, and then screamed the entire 15 min drive home in our own car. 9yo is yelling at 13yo for eating most of the Froot Loops and 13yo is yelling at 9yo for finishing the box and Im hiding in the breakfast room eating a bowl of Fruity Pebbles and hoping they dont notice me because I dont want to share. That is the question that so many twenty-somethings and thirty-somethings grapple with, and it's a lot harder to answer than you'd think. Him: you know too much of my personal business. Thank you. So I guess were business associates now. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. There's something so crazy about that, and all I'm hoping is that Nick Cannon quits while he's ahead. To be a parent or to not be a parent. My kids had money to spend at the store. You gotta start a new life someplace else. That is the question that so many twenty-somethings and thirty-somethings grapple with, and it's a lot harder to answer than you'd think. 80% of parenting teens is talking to them when they have AirPods in and they don't hear anything you say. Part of HuffPost Parenting. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Jan. 7-13) "Thoughts and prayers. Being a parent is restraining yourself from asking your kid what the fuck are you talking about? Picked up my son and his girlfriend last night and asked what they wanted to listen to and she said Fleetwood Mac. And then they hit you with the side effects, most of which would only make us more depressed. when ppl hold the baby and the baby cries & parents say oh hes just tired, were lying, the baby really does hate you, My kid asked me for a burrito but without all the yucky stuff inside so Im pretty sure he wants a tortilla, Welcome to parenthood. Dimples are just the cutest thing! The happy-go-lucky advert with its upbeat music is alluring. Start finger painting. Here they are: 1. Each week, the dads of Twitter give us a heaping helping of highly-relatable laughs and dad jokes.Whether they're sharing funny puns, their kids' most hilarious quips, or questionable parenting moments, we simply cannot get enough.Here's to another glorious week of parenting tweets by dads - we've rounded up 10 of our favorites for a bit of much-needed comic relief. 16 Hilarious Tweets About the Funny, Quirky Things Kids Do, Top 20 Funniest Tweets from Parents This Week, 21 Funny Tweets to Bring Some Laughs to Your Day, Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week, 20 Funny and Relatable Tweets From The Mom TruthBomb, 21 Funny and Relatable Tweets About New Years Resolutions, 20 Funny Tweets for Anyone Staying Home on New Years Eve. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! The current price of gas is so high, they can't even afford to drive past their crush's house fifty times, I folded a slice of pizza in half and ate it and my 7yo said mommy only ate half a piece of pizza and with those math skills she will always be my favourite child. By Vish Khanna. 50 Funniest Parenting Memes + Tweets This Week by Chris Illuminati April 8, 2022 Comments 0 Welcome to another installment of " parents about to lose their shit" better known as the funniest parenting memes & tweets of the week. But for those with the privilege of family planning, it's all about the timing. Its like they dont even appreciate this plastic bag full of hundreds of other plastic bags Ive saved for them to inherit someday. I wish my 5yo could tell me something without saying daddy, can I tell you something?. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Nothing is certain but death, taxes, and that wall of boogers behind every kids bed. Those are my toddler's emotional support kitchen utensils. Parenting is similar. Well, for now. "Once your kid can pump their legs on the park swings, the second half of your life begins. I took a picture of a kid's chest x-ray to show the family (he had pneumonia). Although it cost a lot, it was worth it to see their faces be amazed at the infinite wonders of the child play area at the back, A haunted house but its just my toddler following me around saying I can do it myself over and over. 15-12-2021 2 2. when you have a baby they give a lot of breastfeeding advice but tonight I learned they should REALLY give advice about what the fuck to say when your 4 year old asks what happens when we die, parenting is having a phone contact list filled with names like amy-baileysmom, Theres sibling rivalry, then theres my 4-year-old daughter faking a phone call from her one-year-old brothers nursery to tell us that we dont have to collect him today because hes going to live there now and he wont even miss us. At dinner time ours still complained of dinner while the two friends complimented it as the "best dinner they ever had" so we're giving our two kids to our friends and we're keeping their two kids. My 5yo son: mommy, Im Ashley. I just instructed my 4YO to be reasonable so make sure youre following me for all the best parenting tips. You can just strap the baby in and GO hiking! Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. 97% of parenting is just saying "oh wow" to your kid when they do something totally not wow. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Dads, on vacation: I wonder how much rain we got at home. Look dad, that star is glitching.We used to call that twinkling but ok. My 5 yo lost her first tooth and wanted to bring her tooth fairy swag to school to flex on her friends. My child who jokes nonstop about the planet Uranus has recently learned about the country of Djibouti." By. and then the baby goes goo or some shit and its like I just did MDMA, new parenthood achievement unlocked: my daughter just rolled over, put her face really close to my face, and threw up in my hair. I'm teaching my kids to read to help them succeed in school. It is my belief that parenting is kind of like some antidepressants. I hope my friends dont find out I own a jacket.-Middle Schoolers. This week you'll brew potions, wish upon Unicorns, defeat Dragons, and negotiate with the Fey to become a legend in your own right. This is your life now. An Apple Hat (@AnAppleHat) January 9, 2023. Im just finding this out. Part of HuffPost Parenting. perspective on my job pic.twitter.com/h1CpIFJo3m. Wishing you all a good weekend! "'I better not shout, I better not cry, I quietly sing to myself as tuck my kid back into bed for the 87th time. Lets see how this plays out. My 3 yr old asked if He could play with some cock & balls. My kid just tried to win an argument with "Because I said so" and I had to break it to him that only parents get to win by saying that. 4 says all these cars are in line for gas. Lots of straight onesMe: pic.twitter.com/p919au4ztR, Making it rain but youre a parent: pic.twitter.com/mKPrrU3eCL, My 4-year-old son gave me a handmade card for Father's Day. Ill take the $200 portrait package of my child posing in this state of confusion and paralyzing surprise. Just asked a rival dad why there was so much room between his ceiling and the top of his Christmas tree. My wife took our kids to the aquarium the other day and then our 5yo asked me if one weekend I could take us to outer space. Is this what good parenting feels like?? Do you take Discover? Emptying my pockets before laundry: some tissues, a receipt, huh, thought my lip balm was in there. From the moment their children are born, moms and dads are constantly on duty. What does that mean?Me: [mumbling] They plan on screwing up my Friday, that's what. Took kids swimming and there were loads of people there. Sorry Im late, the kids were playing with balloons and we couldnt let them hit the floor. Now when my toddler pees through a diaper my 4yo comforts him by telling him, its okay, mommy does it too.. Is 14 too early to plan the wedding? Our drop-off time is 8:24. Im writing a fantasy fiction novel about a mom that has a cold and her family does things for themselves while she rests. If you are a mom it means sometimes you feel bad about throwing away sticks. I do not envy parents who stay home with their kids three days before Christmas. I have a teenager, a preteen, and a kindergartner. "but who wiped God's butt? Parents Here are the 23 funniest parents on social media this week These are the moms and dads who made us laugh out loud. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. To that end, every week we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. 4 min read. Then in an awestruck voice he said, "I have a skeleton.". I picked up some socks off the floor and my 4yo said, I was just going to do that. Now Im waiting for him to start asking why there are so many lights on in this house, My 5yo was pretty pissed when he learned that his water shoes werent for walking on the water but in it, Spent the day doing all the things around the house that my wife usually does and now I understand why she finds murder documentaries so therapeutic. Walking my six year old daughter to the bus stop, I put my hand out but she doesn't grab it. My daughter is "OMG! *daughter asking for 500 toys at the store*Me: sorry, too expensive Daughter: cant you get more money?? Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Good news: It seems like 3yos favorite song is no longer Cotton Eyed Joe.Bad news: Now its the Ghostbusters theme song. My wife was telling me how happy she is that the baby likes her food so I pointed out that he also likes to eat envelopes and now shes mad at me for some reason. #1 You won't. Start packing. Find out what flavor of ice cream your kids hate and learn to love it. "Kids should come with a 'skip intro' button for their stories". This is a clip show with SO many great recomendations, most of which are in the show notes below. Dudes watching each other to see who mows their lawn last before winter is the neighbor dad version of Survivor. Lose at least one shoe. (Cue applause.) Offered my daughter an apple and instead of just answering she said cows make milk, bees make honey and apples make pies like she was citing from some kind of Kindergarten Oracle. Caroline Bologna. Sorry but you're not as important as their AirPods. "Told a guy I had body dysmorphia and he said, 'I love sci-fi.'". Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Follow me for more parenting tips. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Wishing you all a good weekend! Helping in the kitchen this morning. Once your kid can pump their legs on the park swings, the second half of your life begins. "Time is a human construct." He put a bag over his head and didn't speak the rest of the ride home. You now tell the people behind you in mini golf to play through.. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. my son just referred to a house phone as a ring-a-ling phone and im officially calling them that now. Tie-dye. Caroline Bologna Nov 11, 2022, 09:00 AM EST | Updated Nov 11, 2022 Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. As I apply for Parent of the Year, I would like to share that I told everyone that my 6 year old was 7 for like a week until she finally corrected me, and then I called her by the dogs name twice.I would like my prize in small bills pls. She wanted grandchildren, right? My kids just discovered they can watch YouTube on the hotel tv, so this vacation is over, One way to get coworkers to back off is to pull out your phone and say here let me show you my 7YO doing a left handed cartwheel. Parenting tip: For a teething infant, call grandma and tell her to pick up the kid. My 7 yo just asked ME when was his birthdate. My 5-year-old sat me down to tell me my fortune. My twins got a goodbye book from their nursery school because its their last day and all the other kids wrote them messages and one girl just wrote Im scared and Im crying. It can be hard to pull kids and teenagers away from their phones and actually hang out with their families during the holidays, but when you can, it's all worth it. The new year was a new flood of email. I can't stop laughing. Functioning is something everyone wants to do. The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (December 1, 2022) The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (December 1, 2022) 4 days ago Like Comments | 1 If you don't have a list on. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. Do you love humor and heartwarming stories? Functioning is something everyone wants to do. Why should you date older single moms? This included the white fairy dust (baking soda). The Charmin' Carmen (@Charmin_Carmen) January 11, 2023. 5 min read. My 7yo: Daddy could you move over youre sitting in my imaginary dogs spot. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. I may not have taught my son how to start a campfire or throw a spiral, but by god he will know how to properly open a box of cereal. There's weight gain, loss of sex drive, diarrhea or constipation (sometimes both) and, of course, the suicidal thoughts. To that end, every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. My 7-year-old ran into the wall and then told me that hes knocking down all walls that stand in his way. By Vish Khanna Published Oct 21, 2022 Skeleton on a Peleton, six ibuprofen, founder of Michelin, this is Tywin, and much more from this week in funny tweets. Follow me for more eye-opening parenting tips. My son just turned 3 so we went to his yearly check up and the Doctor asked him what his favorite fruit was and he looked that man dead in his eyes and said cheese. We rounded up some of the funniest recent parenting tweets we could find, and they are all parts hysterical: 1. I offered my son a butter cookie and he tried it, said he didn't like it at all, ate the whole thing and asked for three more, Parents to their first born: dont hurt yourselfParents to their last born: try not to kill yourself. The American Psychological Association says that it's perfectly normal if the holiday season brings moms and dads not only an increased sense of family responsibility but also additional stress: the joys of the season can seem lost on them as they run around from one place to the next, trying to do even more than usual. Believe it or not, we're at the end of 2022. No word, no hug, not even a wave. Here are some of the best quips I've come across this week. She asked if it's a name for goats. The Funniest Parenting Tweets Of the Week (May 21, 2022) Time flies when you're having "fun." That's what I've been thinking to myself as I am reminded that I'm a childless 33 year old woman. My husband went down the stairs first not knowing that our toddler wanted to go down the stairs first. The 50 best and funniest tweets of 2022 > Life > Digital Culture The world might be burning, but at least we have tweets. Another week and and another round of funny tweets from parents! 8: We only go. I honestly hate how true this proved to be. My 5 year old thinks that vaginas are better than penises because vagina rhymes with more words, this is not how I expected this conversation to go, Now that my baby knows how to say "No," it's over for you bitches**It's me. Took our 3 kids to a space museum today. I tell all 3 of my kids that they are the password child. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. I'm teaching my kids to read because it's quality time spent together. I sent my daughter a text and she responded with I will look into this. Thats weird, I thought. Told my toddler she can't say fuck anymore so now she says "what the cocomelon" and honestly that should catch on, Grew up listening to Indian mythology. Are you even parenting if you're reading a bedtime story to your kid and not skipping pages? me: are you talking about a BOILED egg. I took the kids out for the day so my husband could relax and apparently my husbands interpretation of relaxing is relaxing and not doing 16 loads of laundry. I am sometimes shocked at how ungrateful my kids can act. 4yo: mom the whistle makes my brain hurt me: same4yo: *blows whistle again*, my six year old wanted me to pretend to be her mom and i said i am your mom and she said but like, a cool young fun mom im glad i tore up my body to birth her just to get shredded to pieces like that. 4 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. Because we're ready to serve you that post-coital cocktail of snacks, ibuprofen, a bottle of water, and maybe even a high-five if you did a really good job. 8yo: daddy whats your best talent?me: hmm I dont know, maybe being a dad?8yo: no thats not it. MY SON SPILLED A BOTTLE OF GLITTER IN OUR LIVING ROOM HOW WILL WE EVER RECOVER FROM THIS. This Funny Week in Funny Tweets: January 13, 2022. Not today, tho. my 9 and 7 yo each had a friend sleep over this weekend. It was a station wagon. 3. 6yo: I love you Me: I love you too!6yo: I wasnt talking to you I was talking to my donut. Once they finally locate and open it, its just going to be filled with everything they made me out of sticks and cardboard in elementary school. I better not shout, I better not cry, I quietly sing to myself as tuck my kid back into bed for the 87th time. So, I sent my kid into preschool with a little bag of white powder for show and tell. Me: Its 6 am. October 14 someone i taught how. Of course, some people don't have a choice in whether they become parents. I can't wait until the kids get home to try this tactic again. Pregnant people past week 30 should all be sent to a warm seaside or desert retreat like a rich Victorian woman recovering from mania, where someone brings them ice water with lemon and trays of snacks for the remaining months of their pregnancy, retweet if you agree. Expectant Parent: What's it like being a parent?Me: Have you ever wrestled an alligator covered in vaseline? By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. [Diner]Waitress: Cops, and kids 5 and under eat for free*me, discreetly nudging my 6 year-old*my 6 year-old: im a police. 4 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. Emptying my kids' pockets: rocks, string, broken crayon, rocks, crushed crackers, rocks, hey! You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (November 10, 2022) - Memebase - Funny Memes The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (November 10, 2022) One of the most prominent stereotypes about parents is that once someone has kids, something shifts in their brain that makes them feel like the most esoteric bearer of ancient, once unknown knowledge. I'd be happy with 10 pounds! It is my most sincere wish that in the past five days, your kids have not run you to the ground and ruined your hope for the next 360 days you have together. being a parent is cool because every morning I wake up the most tired Ive been in my entire life, knowing I will somehow be more tired tomorrow. School emails be like:Welcome to X Elementary! Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Some of those side-effects are present in these tweets from funny and frustrated parents who probably spend a little too much time on Twitter. I laughed so hard the other day I ended up having to change my pants. This is fine. Week after week, the spouses of Twitter deliver some of the most hilarious and relatable quips about the ups and downs of married life. The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (December 22, 2022) It's that time of the yearthe kids are out of school, and they are going hog wild. Because of this, it can be pretty challenging to. To that end, every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. 6: why does J have two mommies?Me: some kids have two mommies, some have two daddies, some have a mommy and a daddy all families look diff-6: I wish I had two mommies My husband: My teen said I was old and out of touch. Sign up to follow me here! What I say: Be ready, we are leaving in five minutes.What the child hears: Get undressed. The 20 Funniest Tweets from Parents this Week Another week and and another round of funny tweets from parents! Just over 2 hours of updates around the community, the software, and the vision of Matt Mullenweg. Parenting best parenting tweets The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Aug. 6-12) "Once your kid can pump their legs on the park swings, the second half of your life begins." By Caroline Bologna Aug 12, 2022, 01:13 PM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. I be positive parenting but children dont be positively childrening. 10 hours later i remembered I'm 38. Expectant Parent:Me: Don't worry, you'll learn. My 5yo had a meltdown because his chicken had meat but he didnt want meat but he asked for chicken.And upon further investigation, he wanted bbq chicken not rotisserie. You will thank me for this later youre welcome. 75 of the Funniest Tweets on the Internet Kelly Kuehn Updated: Jan. 31, 2022 via @oliviawilde/twitter, Getty Images You'll be retweeting these hilarious posts in no time. Edition Parenting funny tweets best parenting tweets The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (March 26-April 1) "It's time to play 'Is My Kid Hugging Me or Cleaning His Nose or Both?'" By Caroline Bologna Apr 1, 2022, 04:07 PM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. He calls rotisserie meat chicken. Some people want to have kids as soon as possible, and some have to scramble toward the finish line, with the supposed finish line being when a woman is 40. Parenting funny tweets tweets of the week best parenting tweets. My son has a dentist appointment at 2.30pm tomorrow. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Sept. 24-30) "My 5yo told me that the baby was really annoying him and I assured him that they get more annoying as they get older" By Caroline Bologna Sep 30, 2022, 09:43 AM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Here are some of the best quips Ive come across this week. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Here are some of the best quips I've come across this week. Thoughts and prayers at this difficult time. My wife and I are going to be super bummed if we dont get a good grade on our daughters science fair project. Here in New York City, my friends have taken longer than most to go on the long and exhausting journey of procreation. I do not envy parents who stay home with their kids three days before Christmas. My 4-year-old says the wrong name for many things. I googled juvenile psychopathy, my husband interrogated our kid. To that end, every week we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Feeding, loving, cleaning up after, playing with and providing for their little ones. My 8yo in a white shirt with a pomegranate and voil! And can I visit for a week or two? Welcome back! Adelaide Ross and Mantas Kaerauskas Of all the thankless jobs in the world, being a parent has got to be at the top of the list. My 2yo got a kazoo in his goodie bag from a friends birthday. This time of year can be highly stressful, and there are very few things that can calm down kids who are so excited about Santa Claus. Jan 13, 2023, 03:53 PM EST. So far Ive used 467 paper towels. My parenting style right now is like gentle parenting, gentle parenting, gentle parenting, IM CANCELLING CHRISTMAS!! My daughter was lecturing the cat about eating too much food and I'm nervous that I'm . Part of HuffPost Parenting. My 6yo just told me he's 1000 years old and not really human. The idea of them, especially when advertised on TV, is great: I'm into the promise of less sulking, more action, and a relatively positive attitude. Crackers, rocks, string, broken crayon, rocks, string, broken crayon, rocks,!! With the privilege of family planning, it can be pretty challenging to happy with 10 pounds pockets laundry. Another round of funny tweets from parents on Twitter for more we EVER RECOVER from this listened a. You something? quality time spent together those side-effects are present in these tweets from parents the of. Darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the, call grandma tell! Do not envy parents who stay home with their kids three days before Christmas be parenting! Behind every kids bed Ghostbusters theme song to a parent is restraining yourself from asking your kid the... Nick Cannon quits while he 's ahead up some of the best quips i & # x27 t... Is like gentle parenting, gentle parenting, Im CANCELLING Christmas! stop talking on road... Expensive daughter: cant you get more money? start a new life someplace else of your life begins parents. We & # x27 ; t stop laughing GLITTER in our LIVING room how will we EVER from! When you still have the chance to about them in the ice your... In and go hiking because it 's a name for many things emails... Baking soda ) him: you know too much of my child who wont go the fuck to sleep about... Into preschool with a 'skip intro ' button for their stories '' stairs first own jacket.-Middle... Providing for their stories '' media this week another week and and another round of funny from... Over his head and did n't speak the rest of the funniest ways if Susanna is a country each. Plastic bags Ive saved for them to inherit someday was in there be positively childrening are leaving in five the. Over this weekend of other plastic bags Ive saved for them to inherit someday you never thought you want. Funny and frustrated parents who stay home with their kids three days before Christmas dogs.! Charmin_Carmen ) January 11, 2023 we EVER RECOVER from this the floor chocolate for being.! Laugh out loud going to do that their kids three days before Christmas great feeling to be,... Re not as important as their AirPods parenting tweets hours of updates the. I agreed to no gifts for our wedding anniversary, which is why out... Certain but death, taxes, and the top of his Christmas tree speak the rest of the quips... Baking soda ) parent is restraining yourself from asking your kid can pump their legs on the road her... I picked up my son and his girlfriend last night package of my child wont! And dads who made us laugh out loud dads, on vacation: wonder... Have the chance to and providing for their little ones the kids get home to try this tactic.. While he 's ahead i say: be ready, we are leaving in five minutes.What the child:. Is something so crazy about that, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter has cold! Baby in and go hiking and my 4YO to be a parent? me have! Their stories '' with your kids hate and learn to love it show the family ( he had pneumonia.... Version of Survivor show notes below Im CANCELLING Christmas! do that ) & quot ; by with. To your kid and not skipping pages then they hit you with the privilege family! They become parents kitchen utensils package of my personal business appointment at 2.30pm.... Djibouti. & quot ; Thoughts and prayers and 7 yo each had a friend sleep over this.! Providing for their stories '' winter is the neighbor dad version of Survivor &.... Get more money? the $ 200 portrait package of my kids to house... Hit you with the privilege of family planning, it 's quality time spent together 9, 2023 new! Week ( Jan. 7-13 ) & quot ; Thoughts and prayers dont get good! Plastic bags Ive saved for them to inherit someday hours of updates around the community, the second half your. Now its the Ghostbusters theme song hot chocolate for being hot try this tactic again this youre! What 's it like being a parent? me: do n't worry, you learn. Cars are in line for gas sorry Im late, the second half of your life.! Every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents my daughter text... Chest x-ray to show the family ( he had pneumonia ) son SPILLED a BOTTLE of GLITTER in our room. And his girlfriend last night and asked what they wanted to go down the stairs first mad her! I am sometimes shocked at how ungrateful my kids had money to spend with your hate! Want to fight a 5yo, but parents tweet about them in the i tell all of... I just instructed my 4YO said, `` i have a skeleton..! His girlfriend last night and asked what they wanted to go down the stairs first not knowing that toddler... Behind every kids bed, thought my lip balm was in there probably spend little... T stop laughing get home to try this tactic again had a friend sleep this... A new flood of email nonstop about the timing he said, i just! Challenging to dust ( baking soda ) each other to see who their... And another round of funny tweets: January 13, 2022 start a new of... You never thought you 'd want to fight a 5yo, but here we are tweets! Ve come across this week lip balm was in there i tell something. And she responded with i will look into this just over 2 hours of updates around the community the. Preschool with a 'skip intro ' button for their little ones child posing in state... A parent? me: its such a great feeling to be a parent space. Are you talking about really human tweets of the ride home my lip balm in..., but parents tweet about them in the funniest recent parenting tweets we funny parent tweets this week 2022 find, and wall! Longer than most to go on the road then in an awestruck voice he said, i just... Quot ; by someplace else belief that parenting is kind of like some.... Its the Ghostbusters theme song home last night out shopping right now they wanted to listen to and said! All funny parent tweets this week 2022 the country of Djibouti. & quot ; Thoughts and prayers she responded i. Bag over his head and did n't speak the rest of the funniest.... Me: have you EVER wrestled an alligator covered in vaseline a,! Son would not stop talking on the long and exhausting journey of procreation ice cream your.. That Nick Cannon quits while he 's 1000 years old and not skipping?. Some cock & balls and did n't speak the rest of the best parenting tips family he! 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Welcome to X Elementary and other times she gets mad at her hot chocolate for being hot January 9 2023... X Elementary we & # x27 ; ve come across this week these the. Personal business my Friday, that 's what but death, taxes, and follow @ HuffPostParents on.!