Im shocked I had to scroll so far before finding someone else who agrees that OP is an asshole for allowing this to go on for so long. i cant imagine she stayed silent after the tire slashing incident, but these guys dont seem like the type of men to give up their antics so easily. Demands were never gonna do shit, actions were. Thats what theyre doing to her fianc. the stuff in the first paragraph was bullying but hiding his inhaler? A catharsis for the frustrated moral philosopher in all of us, and a place to finally find out if you were wrong in an argument that's been bothering you. Id tell them since they suck so much at life they can sit at the house and play pranks on one another and if mommy wants to get involved, she can sit her ass at the house with them as well. Or the time they slashed his tired??? NTA - They tried to kill your fiance. Slashed tires and stolen inhalers aren't pranks, they're crimes. It's no joke and can be severely deadly. It's yours. this. And if you ever have kids then keep them away from this shit show! They're not idiots; they're psychopaths. The opposite in fact. Standing up for your fiance is the best thing you could have done, and honestly if they don't change their attitude real quick, uninviting them is definitely the best answer. Or do they just think hanging with your family is something you have to rush like a frat? It could very easily have been your fianc's literal hill to die on, withholding his medicine. Your family will never like or accept him (or possibly any guy you bring home as they sound toxic af). Yes. 2) There is nothing wrong with the name Timmy. Stand your ground; theyre wrong, and ridiculously immature. He wants YOU to drive a wedge between you two and your family but he's too much of an actual "real man" to ask you to make that kind of decision. Wow your family are a complete messed up bunch of a holes.never heard of anyone doing this to any perspective son in law. After texting thier wives for the address haha. The only excuse is that she has been raised in this toxic environment and does not realise how bad it is. Literally willing to risk everything to be with you. not that I fault OP when their family is coming down hard trying to convince OP its just a prank bro. There is also a difference between a prank and stealing a serious medical device, such as an inhaler. We have too many damn words! Oh Im sure they wanted to know about whether he would enforce gender inequality and support the patriarchy. A year into it I was informed by my stepdad I needed to take a full time job to help pay for college or they wouldn't pay for anymore of it. NTA, please protect your fiancee from these toxic, manipulative nasty people. To follow this. If they wanted to be at your wedding they would have respected both you and your fiance instead of bully/assault him. Family should be loving, welcoming, and supportive first, and then if they have concerns about the way they see him treating you they have a talk with you about it. This enraged him and our relationship never recovered. Child abuse waiting to happen. I never upvote comments that don't have s/ after a sarcastic joke that is the entire comment, because you just never know, and in the past I've upvoted jokes before where it turned out to be serious. They just sound like a bunch of assholes!! Honestly if I were your fiance I wouldn't even want to marry into that nonsense. He didn't drive a wedge, they did! Your fiance is a saint and by everything sacred in the world must he love you alot to stick with you! Throughout my life he was forcing me to take sides in wars I should've never been involved in but at 19 I finally refused to take a side. They refuse to even apologize for trying to kill your fiance. yes this..I have asthma and have had several severe asthma attacks that if I didnt have an inhaler on hand I probably wouldn't be here typing this. You should have cut them out ages ago, if my partner's family had treated me like that I'd given them the finger and said "Nah I ain't marrying anyone who cant stand up for me", trust me when I say that "doormat" would have been the softest of my insults. Thats risking someones life, its criminal at this point! Sounds like a bunch of dumb hicks bullying a city boy. AmItheAsshole Original. this is wildly inappropriate at best, and really not funny. They all seem to think you wood be more concerned about what they think of your fianc than what he thinks of them. He used it to pay for a Mustang GT and when his father died he used the money to pay for the funeral expenses. Rejecting feminine things like healthy social connections literally shortens their lives. not everyone uses them. Theyd get one prank. What a nightmare. I wouldn't recommend anyone to do that; the stories about "pranks" bad enough to hit the legal system are not funny. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. just an umbrella term or have multiple meanings. There was nothing boarderline about this it was harassment and they endangered his life on purpose. Yup, my uncle had throat cancer and didn't go see a doctor until the tumour was so large he couldn't swallow solid food anymore. They could have killed him by hiding his inhaler. This is no joke. You don't hide someone's medication from them that helps them breathe when they need it. It's not funny and it never will be. I call it either attempted murder or criminally malicious death. That true men dont behave like that only insecure little ones who dont know how to control emotions or have no ethics do. Frankly, who cares if they respect Tim, the question is, does Tim respect them. Jesus. NTA. # redditAITA #redditgermaphobe #entitledpeople 0:00 Intro 0:40 Story 1 "Let bygones be bygones" because you'll essentially be telling your fiance that your asshat family members fucked up view of entertainment is more important than him. Even if you dont, I think I would be pretty furious at him for being so selfish he would rather potentially die and leave me and our possible kids without a husband and father because hes too afraid to go to a doctor to find out if he has a condition thats actually treatable with simple medicine! NTA. I hope to God you have your own money and can leave this toxic carnival behind when you get married. He could press charges for that. Time to tell dad that people find him to be a thug and a criminal and don't respect him because he treats people badly. Dude yta for allowing this to go on as long as it has. People can die from asthma attacks, especially if they dont have access to their inhalers. They have already stated they do not respect your life partner. No fun indeed. Which would your husband prefer, an hour at the doctor or a lifetime in adult diapers? NTA but you would be if you put your SO in danger again just to play happy families. They went way too far. And they are still insisting YOU are wrong for disinviting them. They going to be saying' 'it's just a prank bro" if he was hospitalized? You joke, but men let their toxic/insecure masculinity come between them and lifesaving healthcare. My in laws are great, but that's not something I'd sign up for unless I felt like my wife really wanted me to go for some reason. What theyre doing arent pranks your fianc doesnt have to prove ANYTHING to your family. Hiding medical devices? You have my sword!! NTA it's not normal. They will have to live with the consequences of their "funny" prank and I find them being uninvited "just as funny". (Already responded but can't resist a LOTR reference!). Of course not, bullies are inherently cowards. These people are sick, and they stay in a pack to reinforce each others sickness. Who wants to be treated like that for the rest of their life? Stand your ground and protect your fianc. I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Stick to your guns. NTA. Define toxic masculinity: see OPs post. AITA for uninviting my stepdad from my wedding so my brothers could come? Likegrown ass adults? No time to waste searching for it. He was abusive in every way but was a master manipulator. Just a quick reminder to never brigade any sub, be that r/AmItheAsshole or another one. This enraged him, we once again had a blowout argument and he called me his greatest disappointment. I'm autistic as well, and I agree that the /s helps a lot because we're at a point where I wouldn't be surprised either way. Why has your fianc not filed a police report on these people? Put it on what respect can Tim, and YOU, possibly have for them after this? less likely to seek out mental healthcare, source: 40+ years of experience at the sharp end, and a couple of dozen responses to "Help! And if I were you, I'd take a real close look at the abuse they've subjected you to. Abuse. Someone should teach these men a lesson. Then NC. That's not a prank, that's vandalism and expensive, and something you do to someone you hate. Thats criminal. I don't think I am the asshole because I suffered years of his abuse and don't feel I deserve to be spoken to like that. This, Im shocked they are engaged, he must really love her. They're the ones that have broken the trust. NTA, if I'm 'Tim ' that prank hiding my inhaler will land op 'dad, brother, cousin and uncle' in jail for attempting murder. You are NTA for sticking up for your fiance, but you will be if you let them into your wedding and don't go low/no contact. This is abuse. Tim has your approval. (jfc the warped mentality has me spinning). NTA and it sounds like youre not gonna miss much with their absence at your wedding! NTA Dude's absolutely like this with avoiding healthcare of any kind (conspiracy nut who's spiraled imo in the last few years) and has bullshit rules about what he (and others) "should" be doing instead of "being lazy". Right? Um, hey. At what point during his asthma attack would they be able to tell if he was being soft or if it was real? Those assholes would show up in their hunting gear and make everyone miserable. In what world is hiding critical medication and slashing tires "pranks"? You wouldn't be much of a partner if you didn't put your foot down. Im surprised hes stuck around so long. Who wins out of this? Stealing someone's effing inhaler out in the wilderness is trying to kill that person. pranks have no lasting impact, aside from a shared laugh in the future. Your husband shouldn't have to deal with them ever again and you don't want that toxic masculinity around your future kids. They could've killed Tim. Bullying and witholding a life saving medication are another. Hell, you might be the asshole if you don't press charges. This is not normal behavior. Want you to be happy? You need to cut contact and tell your mom if she doesnt see why then she gets cut as well. Here's a suggestion tell them that you'll invite them back if they tell a cop exactly what all they did, and ask the cop if it was illegal. Even if it did though, so what? You have a right to remove your father from your life for what he's done. Hes marrying you. I am assuming your fiance has been putting up with this out of respect for you and your family. But say they are just pranking him. People are saying NTA because the question was about whether or not she was TA for uninviting her family from the wedding and not about how good she is to her fianc. Slashing tires isnt a prank. Its destruction of private property and vandalism. This. Set up an event where the men have to breathe exclusively through a drinking straw in their mouths (noses plugged) while they rustle around in a backpack looking for a small item for 5 minutes. So, NTA, and you're totally right in cutting them off. Theyre clearly boys, not men. In reality, I was suddenly unable to breathe at all. And to also add that theyre belittling his mental health too. I could definitely see these assholes trying to cover something like that up. (Think judgmental) So I did my darndest to keep him away from them. I think you had every right to call them out and univite them; their response says it all. To not breathing. I know at least two adult males who go by Timmy lmao. Your cousi, brother, uncle and dad are TA for what they have done. Are you at peace with the no contact and okay with never seeing your dad again? Woman slammed for uninviting step-dad from wedding so brothers would attend A bride-to-be is being shamed online after confessing she'd uninvited her step-dad from her wedding - which he paid. Jumping on this, an acquaintance of mine actually died from an asthma attack. NTA. My question would be why the hell op allowed it to go this far without imposing consequences on her family. So you definitely made the right decision. They know when they have power and they are exploiting it as much as possible to make him miserable. This is bullying and real dangerous stuff. Why isnt this the top comment? If you give in, they'll keep thinking that their bullying is acceptable or funny. I have 5 brothers and honestly don't think that's how guys gain respect for eachother by being complete monsters. No no, they do find things wrong with you, to fix it. You think they wanted to hear he was FOR gender equality? If there's any chance of any form of healing this extended family it's by them realising how badly they've messed up, and them having to "man up" to take the consequences of their actions could be what's needed. Ain't they laughing? And they just showed you they've no idea where the line between pranks and fatal consequences is. Get it together. NTA. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. Slashing his tires? They do realize you could charge them for the majority of these pranks (read: crimes), right? This is seriously so fucked up. If I were Tim, I'd have been long gone when she didn't put a stop to it after the first round of "tests.". Lots of things can go wrong and they have no idea how big it can be until it hits them on the head. I feel so bad for him and am honestly surprised hes still with you. It took until they actually endangered his life for her to tell her idiot relatives to stop torturing the man she allegedly loves? They are being toxic AH, stealing necessary medication is not a prank. My/my child's/my friend's/a complete stranger's inhaler is empty/missing! Tim most love you to bits to put up with all this sheee-itte coz Id be gone after they slashed my tyres.you are 100% NTA here your family sound mental. The way he calls you failure is super not okay You do what is right for you and go ahead and uninivite him. Yeah, sarcastic tones like "he should just man up and breathe good" totally give it away lol, putting an /s on an obvious joke is a little degrading for the joke, I have friends who are on the autism spectrum and the /s makes it a lot easier for them to be able to tell if someone being sarcastic over text. I think OP should have shut this nonsense down before the inhaler "prank" ever happened, and I'm almost inclined to consider her the AH for that reason alone. "Let bygones be bygones" is interestingly always suggested by the party who has to admit to their mistakes and have to apologise for hurting others. and our Your family are living in another century and you're NTA. Of course hes not going to tell you not to see your family anymore; that would be controlling and inappropriate. They shouldnt come. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. NTA. Just a rug sweeper cause family.. That's only if they were "man enough" to tell her the truth. When I was little we were best friends. NTA OP, Stick to your guns. It was infuriating and that was just a case of bad luck. Poor Tim. He kicked out and made you homeless when you had cancer. You are NTA unless you reinvite them. I read her family slashed his tires and I was thinking this man is a saint for continuing to try with this family. NTA, I have asthma and that's no joke. YTA to let these pranks happen to him for way to long, Lol how was she letting the pranks happen? I was sitting down looking at daddy-daughter dance songs when I got the urge to just text and confirm he will be able to make it to my wedding. He deserves so much better honestly. Toxic masculinity ruins the party again. This is awful behaviour. Their pranks went from wildly inappropriate to outright dangerous. They literally slashed his tires? If he wont take care of himself, make sure youre both prepared for the consequences. They are vandalism, destruction of property, and attempted murder. Your bf seems very chill and must love you very much to have put up with treatment like that. I really hope they paid for the damage when they slashed his tyres. You mean the spine that only materialized when her fianc couldve actually died after having already been viciously tormented for years while she apparently just stood back with the occasional protest? NTA. OP this is the path your male family members are headed down. They are immature, idiot morons Your fiance is a saint for putting up with this for so long. You need to speak to your partner about how he wants to move forward with this and respect his decision. I think it's great to forgive assholes if they stop, and family unity is important, but if someone is an asshole and will continue to be an asshole and refuses to stop being an asshole, they definitely should be kept as far away as possible. Even bullying seems like too light of a word. What are the odds Timmy the Collegiate Asthmatic makes twice as much money as all of the REAL MEN put together Then I am so glad that OP isn't one of the women who "marry their father". I dont like knowing these guys are running around. Hell get seriously hurt one day. Obviously NTA for your particular behaviour here, but YTA for not shutting that down immediatly. Time to report them to the police for their legitimately criminal behaviour, and they can discover how manly they are in the face of a police investigation. Nothing worse than telling a funny story and everyone goes quiet and looks sad at you. He's the "type of man" you decided to marry and that's all they need to fucking know. I wouldve made them pay me the full cost of buying a new inhaler to replace the old one. In my family we tease each other and play jokes and trust me this is not what we do! My dad was an engineer, but he recognized early on that my now-husband was not a 'doer' in terms of being super physical and labor and all that. Can he forgive them? Seriously consider it for his own safety AND for the safety of any future children. NTA they gone far beyond pranks are just bullying him now. OP your brother father and uncle all sound terrible with a very strange idea of what constitutes manliness. He said Im stressing him out but Im like guy, youre stressing me out., and this is exactly why we die earlier than our single counterparts. Go no contact. Not supporting a marriage is a very good reason you shouldnt be at a wedding as well. Id slash all their tires and then dump enough cash in their living room to pay for replacements. If your mother had no input in this I'd have gone with E-S-H instead. this type of toxic masculinity is why men die so much more often from accidents and suicide. Tbf I think she didn't know until it happened .. the men side of OP's family seem very toxic and misogynistic as well.. they probably won't include a "woman" in their plans Yeah. NTA, drop them from the wedding and your life. NTA. This doesnt sound like pranking but more like bullying. These men need help. Yes! Absolutely none of this is "good natured fun". Then block their asses. Nobody can be that stupid. Shrug and say that was your family? NTA, they literally could have put his life at risk over a stupid prank. thank you for ur reply! You know what OP's group of male family members are doing? "I also don't want my sister moaning about being surrounded by kids, as they probably make up about 1/3 of the guest list. I know I'd be done after the tire slashing incident. As you say, she's 16 and knows what she's doing. As a person with asthma, I see their prank as abhorrent. I definitely would have pressed charges. If you don't cut these relatives out of your life, when Tim leaves you, you will end up marrying someone like them. They probably don't realize how fucked up it is. YNTA, but damn, your family is chock full of them. I seriously wonder what kind of testosterone hell OP had to deal with growing up. These aren't "pranks" and what sort of fucking adult even "pranks" people anyway. If someone pushes waaay too far after being told to stop many times, they need to face the consequences of their actions. This post has been removed due to the status of the original poster's account. . None of these are harmless. I would've called police on them after the tire incident. Press J to jump to the feed. NTA. Your family are not pranksters but criminals. Hiding his medication as a prank is the lowest of the low. Seriously. Your family is toxic, rude and dangerous! She still goes all out. Like men! The reality is that your fianc and how he feels is more important to you and none of the relatives care about either of the two of you. Exactly. OP needs to uninvite mom for defending the others as well. Welcome to r/AmITheAsshole. Also, asthma attacks can be deadly. You think they are the only part of the family like this? Withholding an inhaler? Point out your brother as an example of how they have failed. I'd like to see uncle and the other assholes breathe through a straw for a few hours, whith their nose properly plugged. violence isnt just physical aggression against an individual.) NTA. A's far as the wedding issue. Feeling like your body is not getting enough oxygen is a scary ass experience, one that I would never wish on anyone. Did they pay to replace his slashed tires? Your family for obvious reasons, and you for letting this go on for that long and being spineless enough to not put boundaries earlier. Family stands together always is a toxic line and enables further toxicity. Destroying property too? Tell your husband he'll be more stressed if it turns out to be a serious condition. Thank you for writing this so that I didnt have to. This!!! Actually I'd call OP TA for continuing to expose Tim to this. Hiding an inhaler? What your family have done is abuse, and could have easily led to harm to your fianc. NTA. not let this ruin my relationship with my family. Your family is fked up and ruined any real relationship themselves. I wonder if they did one to see if he knew how to put on a spare tire. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. Honestly I would elope and not tell them and start getting closer with his family and make distance with your family. NTA. Lets swap his face wash with acid to see if his skin is strong like a real man! However, it should have happened much sooner. NTA. If YOU don't drive a wedge between you and your family over this, what kind of partner would you be? Plugs are only good for punctures more then an inch or two away from the sides. What happens when they have a "friendly" tussle and just suffocate the guy 'cause they think he's just pretending to call for help? Nta for uninviting them, because its Tim's wedding too and I wouldn't want people at my wedding who might abuse me. Stuck to your guns, your poor finance has been through more than enough and must really love you to have tolerated this bullshit. Then, still exclusively breathing through the straw, they must race in panic upstairs/across the house/down the driveway/whatever distance back to you for help. To the siblings, though, it looks like dad hasn't done anything wrong. That kind of behavior is toxic and pervasive. They are cruel people who have been bullying your fianc, these things are not pranks. Conditional NTA depending on how you behave from now on. Anyone who isn't willing to own up like an adult can make other plans. I want the uncle to argue it was just a prank to a judge. Heaven forbid you have a son that needs an EpiPen with these monsters around. Create a new healthy family. If these guys need to grunt and scratch their balls to show that they are real men let them - but these are not jokes. This wasn't a prank. Fucking abuse. And theyre not sorry. Words simultaneously have no meaning at all and all of their possible meanings. Cut them all off till they learn their lesson. I'm really scared that your family will accidentally kill someone with this mentality. I agree with other posters here, they are bullies, not pranksters. When they cry, they can be told real men meet their financial obligations or post their own bail. Obviously, OP is NTA for booting them from the wedding. NTA. This is not pranking, it's abuse. What they did was incredibly stupid. OP is NTA for what she is asking about, but how on earth was the tire stunt not the line drawn in the sand? How manly would they look being charged. You don't have to tell me about how awful some doctors can be. All I can picture is a future child being pranked like this. I told him I need to know if he is coming to walk me down the aisle and have our dance and he said he doesnt know and we will see. Do not invite them back! If someone slashed my tires Id be screwed. You need to distance your family from you and Tim or you might live to regret it. Got to admit that if I were Tim, Id run. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns. Pranks dont cost someone hundreds of dollars to fix or put someones life in danger. The funniest is snipping valve stems. My mother tried but my stepdad did not. I explained that if he just came to events and gave it a shot he would see that everyone is good now and is moving forward except him and his wife. My dad disowned me multiple times and said countless awful things to me but I always forgave him because he was my father and I loved him. NTA, You set a healthy boundary with your family (which is difficult to do) and they violated that. Your family needs some serious help. Whats up with their strange view on masculinity? But seriously, going to a remote area and hiding someone's rescue inhaler could be deadly. 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