A week later, Tom Hanks started recording The Dutch House at a studio in Los Angeles. I sat at my desk for a long time, trying to make sense of this: time when there was no time, and talent all out of proportion to the task. That shed always been so careful not to cross any lines, not to advance herself through connections shed made through him. Every day Sooki came upstairs looking spectacularembroidered jeans, velvet tops, a different coat, a perfect scarf. You always feel this way on Friday., Thats what Im here for, I said. We had found each other and we would not be lost. Shes Catholic. The only other option was to go with stickers which could shift or come off in the shower. Hell make sure you get everything you need. A tremendous explosion rocked the house, something far beyond thunder. By the time the playlist had reached Tristan and Isolde, my skull was a horses skull, dry and white and empty. It's essays. I cant just stay here forever.. dec. 27, 2019: Sweetest Ann, I am traveling todayjust for the dayup to Stanford for a second opinion, with the magicians elephant in my carry-on bag. And it's such a funny thing. You cant kill yourself because youre afraid of being an inconvenience., Lets wait and talk about it on Sunday. If I knew nothing about Sooki before she arrived, I knew very little more three weeks later when we were spending all of our days together. We talked about what we were going to make for dinner. Could I meet him at the bookstore, Parnassus, in half an hour? We at Harper's Magazine are deeply saddened by the loss of our former contributing editor Barry Lopez (1945-2020), who died on Christmas Day.Over the course of four decades, Barry wrote more than a dozen works of criticism, reportage, and memoir for the magazine, all of them informed by the combination of wonder and moral urgency that made him one of America's most beloved . Call me crazy, but that seems like a lot. We were well into March by then. Going forward, the lights may as well be off. I wanted to call and tell her how it had all turned out. This whole time Ive gotten it wrong. Its so important to twist this way, the gentle voice of the yoga teacher reminded us. In the twenty-six years that Karl and I had been together, Id never had the experience of coming home to dinner being made. Sooki got her flashlight and blew out the candles. Donations can be made in her name to Pancan.org or Seasave.org/oceanofsooki. Karl was home from work when we got to the house, and he and I showed Sooki around. It would have to be for this story to continue. The truth was that I had no idea how Sooki was doing, and I had no confidence that she would tell me. I told her I would pick her up at the airport. I told her to take her time settling in. Still, it seemed possible I could get off the ride early by expelling the mushrooms. She had a double mastectomy and originally got implants with reconstruction. I studied what did not come naturally, she told me. Its not too much. These Precious Days by Ann Patchett reviewed. You dont think this is crazy?, I didnt say that, but I know youre trying to help Sooki.. I floated upstairs in a world that would not stop changing. He recommends books and asks for recommendations. In her last two and a half years, Sooki started painting. She took off her cap to show me the damage. Sookis loving memory will live on in her husband Ken Wheeland, son Cody Wheeland, his wife Sara Wheeland and their children Anja and Oliver, her daughter Alison Villalobos and husband Luke Villalobos, her mother Miriam Raphael, her sisters Judy Raphael and Ruth Raphael, her stepbrothers Michael Fishman and Philip Fishman, and stepfather Ted Fishman an amazing circle of friends and extended family. We still had customers even if they couldnt come into the store, and they were fantastically loyal. I didnt know what I was supposed to do, she told me later. Sooki came outside and was caught in the spectacle. I hear you, and I know that if I were in your shoes and you were asking me to stay with you it would seem impossible. When it becomes difficult for Sooki to find a hospital to deliver the clinical trial and chemo she needs, Patchett and VanDevender discover that it can be done at the hospital in their home town, Nashville. Lets try the car.. Thats worth everything.. He was selected by the Tennessee Titansas the number 22 overall pick in the first round of the 2021 NFL draft. Sooki Raphael, Mesa Tree, Topanga, from 'Vivid Series' 16 x 20 inches. There was no stopping it. She told me that part of the reason shed been hesitant to stay with us was that she didnt want to trade on Toms friendship with me. At Harper's Magazine, author Ann Patchett relates working with Tom Hanks, through which she meets and befriends his assistant, Sooki. Sooki came to Nashville and stayed in one place, no more movie stars, no more trips to Morocco and Tan-Tan. The rain went on for another half an hour, and when it gave up I put Sparky on his leash and the three of us went outside to wander and gape with our neighbors. And what about the women who cleaned that house, who fixed those children their dinner? Tell me the news of the great world, Karl would say when he got home from work, and since many were the days I didnt leave the house, I relied on books and phone calls and emails in order to have something to contribute. I had come late to pandemic shopping, but fortunately the staples I relied onchickpeas, coconut milkwere still plentiful. Sookis mother lived two miles from the Westchester airport. Maybe I would find the fight in me, but I was never much of a fighter. She liked the team in Nashville. I went to Virginia to see my friend Rene Fleming in concert. Even as Sookis white count continued to hover in the neighborhood of nonexistent, her CA 19-9 cancer marker number (that unreliable indicator we relied on) was dropping. After her first round of cancer, while she recovered from the Whipple and endured the FOLFIRINOX, she started to paint like someone who had never stopped. There had been a meeting of some sort. Our newsletter vital information, hope, and healing, delivered weekly. And anyway, its my fault. Sooki was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, and Patchett's husband Karl is a doctor with some serious hookups, so Patchett arranged for Sooki to come to his There was a sitting room downstairs, the library, her bedroom and bathroom. But you write that what you loved was finding someone who sees you as your best and most complete self and that she did that for you, and you think you did that for her. They had turned off the heat PATCHETT: Or they turned it down to whatever level would keep the pipes from freezing. I remember when you asked me months ago if he knew I was here and I panicked. I worried about her dying. What came out of her brush was a feast of colors and stories that she had kept in her heart for years. Common sense and a book - that's all you need. These months of exercise would save me. The first door opened and I walked through. The plan was that she would go home to Los Angeles during her weeks off, and once UCLA started the trial, she could go home permanently. Why shouldnt Tom Hanks write short stories? Sooki, who was light and life and color itself. One more reason to like Tom Hanks: hes a reader. Tom Hanks was so completely absent from our conversations that I once asked her if he knew where she was. The car I was locked into was now hurtling down through a million winking flagella, every one a different color. I was trying to read her lips. Its there for us at all times. PATCHETT: I really, really appreciate that. She even worked for Wilson's husband, Tom Hanks, as his assistant. ANN PATCHETT: Aw, Mary Louise. So the trial was supposed to start at UCLA a couple of weeks later. But she rarely stayed upstairs. Karl loved Sookis family and they all loved Karl. It had been no more than seven minutes start to finish. All this time Id been afraid of prying, only to discover that Sooki was happy to talk, to tell me about the bats, the sailboat to St.Barts, the desert in Tan-Tan, the surgery. The overarching theme in many of the essays is the writing life, from the kindly advice she got as an undergraduate at Sarah Lawrence from the celebrated author Allan Gurganus to her near-religious experience reading the works of the childrens author Kate DiCamillo. He walked me through the publishing process: being thrilled by acceptance, ignoring reviews and then having the dream of bestsellerdom dashed What mattered was that you knew how to love the job.. It was possible, and I had no intention of thinking about it. Before I can start writing a novel, I have to know how it ends. Tom Hanks needs a favor? The trees were down but not the houses, and the trees, from what I could see, hadnt fallen on the houses. I thought of her time as precious now. I worried, and thought it was not my place to ask. And who wouldnt be given the fact that Raphael didnt really emerge as an artist until her pancreatic cancer diagnosis in November 2018. My friend Sister Nena had just called. Astonishing to come across such a friendship at this point in life. Sooki had had a toucan in college. Sooki had gone to work for the New York City Department of Healths Bureau of Animal Affairs right out of college. Sooki left for yoga just as the waitress was bringing our eggs. I thought some nights my back would snap. I waited but nothing came next. Backstage, she met his beguiling assistant. You can live here for the rest of your life, I said, and I meant it. You yourself are heartfelt, and all the love in the world has been expressed. Sooki hadnt answered the question, but that was the day I felt as though we started talking. . KELLY: Wow. Would you just paint us a picture of her? More news about planes: friends of mine in Nashville who knew what was going on with Sooki, and who have a house in California and a jet that takes them there, the nicest possible friends, offered her a ride home. Theyve been exposed to it?. . How much is the Raphael worth? I didnt know you had a husband!! We headed upstairs to lie side by side on our yoga mats, deciding to disregard my friends advice about staying on separate floors. With every passing day I seemed less able to say, Do you want to talk about this? When she gave us the painting she had done of Sparky on the back of the couch, I felt as if Matisse had painted our dog.. I leave the house at 6:30 am every weekday morning to make it down to the bottom basementfloor 2Bat UCLAs Westwood Medical Center by 7:30 am. We laughed at ourselves, at the practice, at the voice that told us we were flowers, we were leopards, but we didnt stop. There arent a lot of boundaries. You should come back to the music, she said sympathetically. I never cry, and yet I had plans to do nothing else for the rest of the day and maybe the rest of the week. All day long Sooki emailed me pictures of her family with the subject line Where is our other sister? Simply put, Karl makes rain. The tumor in her liver was shrinking. A Celebration of Life will take place in Topanga, CA on August 21, 2021. I had to listen to what she was telling me. Have a wonderful day today. Im not sure I can describe it without it sounding like an extension of the mushrooms, but it had that kind of depth and clarity of message for me. Something happened to it while I was in the shower., She shook her head. I think about all the people who would want her to live with them. She started a kids clothing business. There is no sense in putting that burden on yourself. But I was a freshman at Sarah Lawrence, and my cousins had brought me home for Halloween my first year of college because I was really homesick. She kept to herself, sleeping and painting, trying to wrestle it out. Okay, he said. Of course we could. Use this bar to access information about the steps in your cancer journey. He would bring a copilot to split up the hours. But my eye keeps going to her. Heres how the story came about: Patchett was invited to interview Hanks while he was on a book tour. As soon as the roaring thunder of approval eased, he pointed at me and said, She doesnt have any questions.. PET scans) were showing no sign of disease. Figuring out Nashville was small potatoes for someone who had put together a Thanksgiving dinner for a film crew in Berlin. She sent updateschapter eight now, chapter twelve. We miss you. RoseGallery is pleased to present These Precious Days, a solo exhibition of paintings by Sooki Raphael, on view from 10 April until 10 May, 2021. Up and down the street the lights clicked off; our house went dark. He was not one to miss a workout and neither was I. Id practiced kundalini devotedly for years and then drifted, picking up other things, and while Id stuck with the short class, I had amassed no end of DVDs. She met a group of sailors who had sailed around the world. So there she was, stuck with us. And I found maybe five other kids who had done the same thing and decided that I was going to make Thanksgiving dinner. You understand that other people dont live this way?. I tried to find a place for this new fact in the equation but all I could come up with was the obviousI didnt know her. I wonder, I said to her one night while we walked Sparky around the block, do you think youre a good assistant because youre a private person, or did you become a private person because youve been an assistant for a long time?. She looked startled. I didnt need to hear about the first opinion to know what that meant. They arrive daily in padded mailersnovels, memoirs, essays, historiesthings I never requested and in most cases will never get to. I had to turn myself away from the movie of what I thought was happening, the movie I had made for myself, so that I could see her. I promise to be a more reliable friend and pen pal. . Sooki had brought her computer with her. They have it, she said. Coping with the loss of a loved one to cancer is incredibly challenging, but moving forward with the lessons your loved one shared and remembering you dont have to forget them to move forward can be a great place to start. The energy it took to stay alive, the impossibility of quitting. She doesnt have to go to India. It isnt that.. We did a different hour-long class every morning, identifying our favorites, ordering more DVDs. They clearly didnt understand she intended to walk, though knowing Sooki, she probably could have carried it. feb. 14, 2020: Oh, Ann. She had set up her life in the basement of our house, a place we never went. Its not like youre stuck in one place. I would have given her a hug but for the pandemic. A weekly email taking aim at the relentless absurdity of the 24-hour news cycle. She made wedding cakes that tasted as good as they looked. He already knew. Sooki told me about evacuating for wildfires in the canyon where they lived in Los Angeles, a year and a half earlier, the night before she was scheduled to fly to North Carolina to have surgery. What happens if I fall down the stairs? I said I thought it would be easier to be bald. Do you ever miss being alone in your house? she asked me once. Sparky had crawled onto my chest and gone to sleep. Dont go anywhere you wouldnt want to get stuck, a doctor friend had told me. Sooki had come to our house thinking shed be staying with someone who was gone half the time and busy the other half of the time. Everyone was wide awake, waiting up to see if the world was going to end. We filled up the bird feeders twice a day, scrubbed out the birdbath every morning, tracked the relationship of a couple of lizards who lived in the planter on the deck. Shes married, I said. A plane? I went upstairs to get the scissors out of my sewing basket. Im around if you want to talk. ), she developed a deep and lasting friendship with his assistant, Sooki. They take magic mushrooms together (a good experience for Sooki, dreadful for Ann). Speaking of which: The essay about your friendship with Sooki Raphael [Tom Hanks' assistant, whom Patchett met while interviewing Hanks at an event in 2017 and who died in April of this year . Many were the mornings the yoga felt endless to me, and so I would give her a wave as I left the mat and headed off to my desk. How it happened is told in the title story of These Precious Days, Patchett's second collection of essays. I had warned Sooki about all of this before she arrived. It was a science experiment that could never be replicated. She learned to solo an airplane before she learned to drive. She kept saying she wanted to be the one to help me for a change. We knew it. I rose as I pressed against the floor. Tom and Rita were back from Australia. They reviewed her records together. In the titular essay, Patchett reflects on her serendipitous friendship with Sooki Raphael. KELLY: Well, it's really, really true, so it was a pleasure to get to say it to you instead of just pining to my book club about how I wish you had another book coming out. In return, she sent me pictures shed taken of Los Angeles, a woman in an orange sari sailing past a city bus on a bicycle. Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson lost their friend Sooki Raphael to pancreatic cancer earlier this year. Spanish for straight, direct. Twenty-two sessions down and six to go. Just think, I would say to her on Wednesdays. I can tell you where it all started because I remember the moment exactly. What with all the news of this new virus they thought there was a good chance people werent going to show up. Her love and passion and beauty will continue to live in her paintings, and in all of us who were privileged to have entered her world. I saw Tom and Rita in Nashville two more times. The same trial she was part of in Nashville had finally commenced at UCLA, twenty minutes from her house. Its why I dont like to go to other peoples houses for dinner: I never want to tell people Im a vegetarian. I had set my intention to help my friend, to hold her hand and go with her while she went to peer over the cliff, the cliff that, coincidentally, I fell off. . Whether you loved it or hated it may depend on your feelings about celebrity culture since the benevolent presence of Hanks and his wife, Rita Wilson, hovers in the background. She was thrilled to get the chance to work. We were still at the beginning then. . The road forks and forks again. Sooki sheltered-in-place with Patchett and her husband first coming to stay . I want to envision it as a healing room, but it reminds me of a meat locker: freezing coldIm guessing the temperature favors the delicate machinerywith a rack of blue torsos lined up on hooks. He would tell me how lucky we were, the three of us together. She told me she had gained back the twenty pounds shed lost after the last chemo but she couldnt have weighed a hundred pounds now. Maybe it had something to do with her job. Subscribers can find additional help here. If asked if she could go any place, that place would always be home. Id spent two hours on a stage talking to Tom Hanks, and now I wanted to talk to Sooki. I was leaving for Virginia. Old habits. Like a Cessna? There are so many things I understand now, she said. Sooki had twice flown down to Mississippi with us to visit Karls ninety-eight-year-old mother. Timeless stories from our 172-year archive handpicked to speak to the news of the day. Well, Sooki said when we were finished. We talked about art. I like myself here, she said softly. You okay? Sooki asked. She traveled the world as the personal assistant to one of Hollywoods biggest stars. Later in the summer there was radiation, just to be safe. We went out to the street on that bright morning to see a fire high up in the distance. (These Precious Dayshas a portrait by her of Patchetts dog Sparky on the cover). Finally she went downstairs. She was going to be stuck in a chair all day, which was why it was necessary to do it again at night when she got home. Sooki went with him every day. Im self-conscious about being in the way, especially if Im not at my best through chemo. Just remember, Wednesday chemo left you very sad on Friday and Saturday, so it stands to reason that Thursday chemo will break your heart on Saturday and Sunday. Would it even work? I didnt know how the story would end. Dear gave way to Dearest. There she was in the passenger seat, a shy person with a quiet voice. Three time cancer survivor, MariannaCuozzo, talks to SurvivorNet about how art helps her express herself. It would be another year before I saw my father again, an unimaginable unit of time in the life of a child. Now I knew several people who were using them as part of therapy. "Primarily and in her soul she was an artist." The clothes are small, she said. Ann Patchett one night happened to read a short story by the actor Tom Hanks, surprised by its literary quality. I looked up every anomaly online, settling on too much black tea, or maybe the wrong color shoes. But all Sooki did was help me. Things can get very confused. He would bring us with his own two small girls, and the four of us would sit in the coils of snaking power cords backstage and fall asleep in dressing rooms, in this very dressing room. You know that you dont talk about yourself, right? We were living together. Shed gone to an Indian restaurant and bought bread stuffed with apricots and dates. Of course we would exercise together; it was good for both of us. Sooki Raphael is an artist. You will love her. It was so hard for her to talk. The caps had to be switched out every twenty-five minutes during treatment to ensure that her head stayed more or less frozen. The treatments left her tired, but she was managing. In Patchett's wildest dreams, she likely never saw a friendship blossoming later in life that would lead her to become a safe haven for a woman fighting against cancer. Nothing. Even if it wasnt a perfect plan, it was better than doing nothing. Asked to endorse Hankss short story collection,Uncommon Type, and then to interview him on stage during his tour, Patchett first meets Sooki in the wings of a Washington theater. This text may not be in its final form and may be updated or revised in the future. The four frozen caps were to be stored in a cooler filled with fifty pounds of dry ice. I felt their love for me. She walked to the hospital for chemo and then walked home. I cant tell you how grateful I am. Writers who do readings at the bookstore are often stashed in the guest room. Everything filled in. It may resonate. It was her only chance of getting back safely anytime soon. I emailed him at work. $23.99. It took a while to get the mushrooms. They would leave in four days. When Ann Patchett decides to try medicinal hallucinogens to accompany her ailing friend on a spiritual journey (also to alleviate the pain caused by chemotherapy), he gives them space. Travel while staying at home! I was copied on a barrage of emails I had no business reading, reports of molecular profiling, adenocarcinoma, tumor tissue for genetic analysis. They took ten vials of blood on one visit, twenty-eight vials the next. Lets not forget the cancer, I said, and we laughed. I did kundalini yoga in the morning, a practice that was built around a great deal of rapid breathing, and then I went on to other things. Or its supposed to slow it down. She hadnt lost her hair on FOLFIRINOX, though shed lost her sense of taste and smell, the feeling in her feet and hands, and twenty pounds. I find a stream and follow it, the stream dries up, and Im left to look for moss on the sides of trees. There was no more walking to a class in the dark of morningeverything was closedand so I asked her if she wanted to exercise with me. Karl worked out the plans. She was indefatigably pleasant and warm while maintaining her distance. I now knew that shed had a Whipple at Duke and twelve rounds of FOLFIRINOX followed by twenty-eight days of radiation over five and a half weeks at UCLA. Anything thats happened to me, any adversity, any good times, any bad times, Ive always kind of stood on that rock of faith. She was Tom Hanks's assistant and there was work to do. Sooki was married? Karl spent a huge amount of time studying weather as part of his instrument-rating prep. I told her it was all an elaborate hoax. We were loaded with plans in those days. Sooki got her pilots license before she learned to drive, Karl told me. And this led to you meeting Sooki. Never want to see this again? There were so many other people who would have done anything to be with herher mother and husband, her daughter and son and grandchildren, her sisters and all of her friends. This wasnt out of the ordinary for me, as Im sure it wasnt for her. We looked in the car. I thought he should be angry at me. We breathed deeply and flexed our spines. 2,560 Followers, 85 Following, 25 Posts - See Instagram photos and videos from Sooki Raphael (@sookiraphaelartist) (I say this as someone who is spending my days trying to write about our friendship and what happened here. Youve been so nice, but you didnt sign on for this. She stood in the kitchen, holding her cup of ginger tea. In a heartfelt tribute after she died, Wilson told followers about the lovely artist that was her dear friend and shared some of her vibrant paintings. She certainly isnt short of abundant care for others, and by the time you get to the end of this collection its hard not to feel glad she saved her energy for writing. I couldnt. "They have it," she said. There was my grandmother, my father. She apologized for her late response, saying that shed had a medical procedure and hadnt been in the office. Are you sick?. Because then, it won't just be me; it will be the entire world of people in my head. 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